The freedom to be yourself comes with a lot of responsibility. I am completely accountable for my actions and reactions. Learning new ways to react is proving to be a difficult task. The relationship with my parents is changing. The relationship is a living organism and I have decided to change what I feed it. No longer will I be a gluttoness people pleaser. I am on an emotional diet and reducing the amount of parental calories into my day (I know the cheesy analogies are too much, but hopefully still paint a clear picture). The right balance of mom and dad intake will be limited to phone calls and occasional gatherings at a place of my choosing, but it cannot be my childhood home. I revert back to a defensless eight year old girl who resents her parents for not being the all knowing and all powerful people I thought they were. I lose all sense of who I am and what I believe in. I become spiteful to my father and angry with my mother. I have yet to work out all these emotions and feelings. I do love my parents. Let me make that perfectly clear. It's just I have to learn how to love them differently, now that I am no longer in need of them to sustain me. I want them in my life, but the realization that I don't need them...seems harsh, but still true.

It makes me feel ready to take on the world. It makes me believe more and more I am who the Creator said I am and will be. The future of prosperity, joy, miracles and promises are right at my fingertips. I just have to let go of my past perceptions and let them turn to dust. The hopeful confidence that stirs in my soul is growing stronger with every day. God is faithful, so very faithful I don't even have words to describe it. Now that I am seeing myself more in a godly way, I am now actually believeing the promises God has spoken to my heart and not letting anyone, especially my family, the people I hold dear to me, tell me any different. Being bold takes a lot of courage.