Emotions I thought I had taken care of seem to be mounting against me, or for me depending on the perspective I take. Things that happened in the past, forgiven memories, creep into my present life. Is this by accident or does God have a real purpose in making me feel pain that I don't want to?
I guess its a good thing in the long run, but let me tell you, it really sucks right now. Thoughts and feelings I assumed were healed ae really not, and I have to face what they are, or I risk being stuck in this no man's land of isolation and resentment which lies between the life with purpose or life by survival. I want to have purpose, and passion again. I just don't have it right now. I am strictly surviving my days. Going to work and trying to make it through. I am exhausted by my own life's drama. Some of it is my own doing, but some of my life's curveballs are out of my control. I just have to figure out how to respond to the curve balls without getting hit in the face every time.
My friends have been my lifeline. Without them, I don't know if I could get up everyday right now. Every thought is a battle in my mind.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment